Thursday, 27 March 2014

13 weeks to go...

...and it's now that I start to begin the impending moment that'll be the cutting and shaving of all of my hair. I've always known that this would happen - I'm not one for backing down but it's now beginning to hit me what I'm going to do and how this could change my life.

1) The obvious point: my hair care will fly out of the window. I know I'd continue using shampoo for the scalp and to help the hair regrow in a healthy way. As I'm doing this in the middle of June, I'm going to stock up on factor 50 to put on my head daily to make sure I don't burn my scalp. I will have as many wigs as possible to alternate between (a couple of which will be dedicated to certain cosplays). In the grand scheme of things, this is pretty minor

2) No one will quite look at me the same again, for one. I've had these remarks put to me many times:

  • "You're not going to look the same"
  • "It's going to be wierd seeing you without your blonde hair"
  • "You're going to have to remember to look after yourself in a different way"
  • "But...your hair...it'll be gone!"
As much as people have been generally very supportive, I know they won't look at me the same which makes me fear they won't treat me the same which is not the intention I hold. As much as I acknowledge this is a bold move (terrible pun I know), I'm not doing this to be rewarded personally. I'm doing this, as I've previously specified, to raise awareness of a massive issue which I'm passionate about resolving.

3) This next point seems a bit more self-centered but I can't help but feel this will hinder any sort of personal life. I'm currently single and I don't see that changing before this hair cut (This would be the moment my best friend Steve would step in and go "You never know!" which is true but I'm pretty sure on this one.) Being bald is hardly the most feminine thing to do in our beauty-ideal-oriented culture and when the story reaches further about what has motivated me to do this and what I've stated publicly, I get the distinct impression that potential partners would run in the other direction. You may think I'm being quite pessimistic but I like to think I'm being somewhat realistic.

I think the important thing I can take away is this: regardless of the I'm too driven on my principles to give up. I made a pledge to do this no matter what and I will stick to that. Come what may, no matter what. Some things are far more important in life.

If you are able to, please donate to my JustGiving page. Every penny goes towards Rape Crisis - I will not profit.

Lots of love and solidarity <3 xxx

Friday, 14 March 2014

The Second Wig Worn

The second wig arrived in the post today. Unlike the first one, I had no problem opening the package and unleashing my new wig. Unlike the last one, this is a little closer to my natural hair colour...



Then I wore it. It took a bit longer to get it on than the other but it is no less comfortable.


Continue to support me by reading and sharing this blog far and wide and, if you can, donating to my JustGiving page so I can keep raising money for Rape Crisis.

Lots of love and solidarity <3 xxx

Thursday, 13 March 2014

An omission

I sat down with Simon Farr of the Bucks Free Press on Monday to discuss my hair cut and my story of surviving. It was a rather interesting interview especially as I sat down with a man to discuss it. I was offered before the option of speaking to a female journalist but I declined. This journalist had taken interest in my story and it's not like I was going to expose anything I hadn't already exposed...

...or that's what I thought. It only occurred to me after a much-needed nap that there was one glaring part I hadn't discussed in my blog yet. Whilst I am not going to go into much detail now, I might as well put it out there...

As a result of the attack in 2010, I became pregnant. I only found out after I'd passed the 3 month mark. Two days later, I miscarried.

As you can imagine, it was a really tough thing to deal with. It's the one aspect of this entire thing I am probably struggling to deal with the most. I've really struggled to even write this blog post but I know it should come out before it gets public elsewhere. I am intending to do a proper blog post addressing this in good time because - not to point out the obvious too much - it's one of the major consequences. Considering it happened to me and I'm running this blog, I will definitely address it. Just give me a bit of time to put it into words :-)

I appreciate the support. As ever, if you can donate please check out my JustGiving page. No donation is ever too small!

Lots of love and solidarity <3 XXX

Monday, 10 March 2014

Million Women March

'Still I Rise' by Maya Angelou


On Saturday, I was at Million Women Rise. Here are a few pictures of the day

Outfit of choice
London womens organisation

During the protest

Rape Crisis (Wycombe, Chiltern & South Buckinghamshire

Couldn't resist a during-protest selie

It was a great day talking to many different women from different backgrounds and different circumstances all there for one thing and one thing only: to stand and demand an end of violence against women.

Lots of love and solidarity to you all! <3 XXX

Thursday, 6 March 2014

Strength In Numbers

When I decided to cut off all of my hair, I naturally assumed I would be cutting off and shaving my hair alone. I would have to get the bits and pieces together and work out how to shave/cut off my own hair. I've been blissfully proven wrong.

First off, my older sister Liza who is also a survivor volunteered herself to cut/shave off my hair. She's done voluntary hair-dressing with her own equipment plus I know full well she's very passionate about this subject. I'm covering her travel costs so she can come and stay. Secondly, Jenny whom I've been friends with for many years whose essentially like my little sister is intending to come over for the day to support me. She will either be there filming or handing information out.

L-R: Jenny, me and Liza. December 2013

One of the things that have struck me is the amount of people who've donated, who've shared the information across far and wide about what I'm doing and who've pledged their support. The most amazing thing? There are a couple of women who've said they may be interested in shaving their head with me in solidarity to raise money for the cause. That completely bowled me over. The fact that other people are inspired enough to join in in that way is amazing and really touching to me.

Current hair length


Ultimately this has taught me a really important lesson: I am not alone. That's one of the best feelings motivating me right now. It's now 16 weeks to go till the Big Hair Cut. To donate, click here!

Lots of love and solidarity <3 xxx

Sunday, 2 March 2014

Another target reached

As you guys were aware, I amended the target amount to raise from £250 to £500. I am pleased to announce that target has been reached!!! I am now at £560.

Correct at time of original posting 02/03/14


I am still completely overwhelmed at how much people have donated and how much people seem to support me. It's incredibly touching to know I have the love and support of a variety of people whether I know them or not. It is a definite motivating factor.

Will I amend my target and aim higher? Or am I satisfied in raising what I've raised?

As much as I am delighted with the amount I've done so far, I think I can do more. Now I'm about to get ambitious. I am going to aim to raise a huge amount - £1000. That's right. I am going to try and reach £1000 before The Big Hair Cut.

If you wish to donate, please visit my JustGiving page. If you want more information about Rape Crisis, please visit their website.

Lots of love and solidarity! XXX <3